Nobody's Fantasy Read online

  “Yeah but that’s not the point. When I was in the hospital and they took the bandages off my calf and foot for the first time, I resigned myself to the fact that nobody would like me like that again. I don’t want to be anybody’s pity date.”

  “But you don’t like Zev because you feel sorry for him about his leg, do you?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “So why is it so inconceivable to you that he might feel the same way, that he might like you for you without it just being about your calf and foot?”

  I finish the rest of my coffee, “so basically what you’re saying is I was a jerk to Zev and should probably apologise?”

  Vada taps her finger against her chin, “if that’s what you feel like you should do.”

  “Ugh, I’m not going to pay you for this session. Do you know his address?”

  Although it’s close to the university, in this little part of Oahu, everybody still knows everybody else so of course Vada knows Zev’s address.

  It isn’t that far away but the pavements are sketchy and I’m… me so when I get there, I’m so stressed out that I’m all hot and sweaty. There’s a big tree outside Zev’s building so I stand there in the shade for a few minutes hoping not to look like a pig on a spit when I have to do my least favourite thing ever and apologise to somebody.

  I hear a car door slam and when I turn around, a blond-haired woman is struggling up the pathway with a big bag of groceries and a wriggling toddler. I quickly volunteer to take the groceries for her. “Thank you so much,” she says as she slots her key into the front door.

  After I’ve carried the bag of groceries through to her apartment, which is on the ground floor of the building, she says, “I’m so sorry, I don’t think we’ve met before.” She offers her hand to shake, “I’m Maggie and that little rascal over there is my son, Louis.”

  “I’m Jane.”

  “Have you just moved in?” she asks.

  “No, I’m just visiting.”

  She looks at me curiously. I’m starting to regret offering to carry her groceries. Today alone, I’ve more than doubled the number of people I’ve talked to so far since moving to Oahu (tripled if you don’t count my brother), maybe I’ve reached my limit and I should go and quickly crawl back into my shell.

  “I’m not even sure that they’re home. I’d better go.”

  “Which number were you looking for?”

  “Apartment 2b.”

  “Ah, 1st floor,” she points upwards, “are you a friend of Danny’s then?”

  “Um, no. I was actually looking for Zev?”

  “So you’re the girl he bought flowers for?” Maggie chuckles, pulling out a kitchen stool and indicating that I should sit down. “Bear with me a second while I finish putting these away and then I’ll make us coffee and you can give me all the gossip.”

  “How do you know he bought me flowers?” I squeak, thinking that she’s awfully familiar with Zev for somebody who’s just a neighbour.

  “Oopsie, I forgot to introduce myself properly. I’m Zev’s sister.”

  “Wow,” I slump down on the seat. What are the chances? I realise I must have said that out loud because Maggie laughs again.

  “Actually, you’ll be lucky to take two steps around here without tripping over one of our family members. You got his address from Vada, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I thought so. She’s our cousin.”

  Great, I just spilled my guts out about my non-date with Zev to his freaking cousin and now I’m sat in his big sister’s kitchen.

  She must pick up on my embarrassment, the flaming red cheeks probably give it away a little because she pats my shoulder, “don’t worry, whatever you told Vada this afternoon won’t get back to Zev. She’s like her mom, very good at keeping other people’s secrets. If I promise not to ask about you and my brother, will you stay for coffee? I’m desperate for a good, old girly chat.”

  “OK,” I agree.

  Louis is getting antsy so we take him outside to the small garden so he can run around while we drink our coffees.

  “I love your accent,” Maggie smiles. “Where are you from?”

  “Thanks. I was born in Manchester, England and I lived there until I was seven when my dad got a job in Seattle.”

  “So what brought you to Hawaii?” Maggie asks.

  I like Maggie so I don’t want to lie to her but my accident has a tendency to cut conversations off completely or turn them sour and it’s too nice a day for that to happen. So I give her a pared-down version of the truth; I was feeling lost after finishing my degree and my parents asked me to come and keep an eye on my brother.

  We talk about our families and I relax because we’ve both got brothers and lots of cousins and it’s fun to share stories about them.

  I’m almost sad when it’s time to leave but I can tell Louis is ready for his nap and I don’t want to impose on them anymore.

  “I’ll let Zev know you stopped by,” Maggie insists as I’m waving goodbye.

  ZEV

  My sister, Maggie lives in the apartment below mine and Danny’s. I look after my two-year old nephew, Louis a couple of mornings a week and when I let myself into Maggie’s apartment the next morning, she’s sat at the kitchen counter with a smug grin on her face. I didn’t see her last night because I was exhausted after finishing a hellish tattoo for a client so I fell asleep almost as soon as I got home.

  “So I met your girlfriend yesterday. I like her. You’d have really beautiful babies together.”

  “Geez, can we dial back on the baby talk, Mags. It’s barely seven am and I haven’t had any coffee yet.”

  She pours me a cup and slides it across the counter, “somebody’s grouchy this morning.”

  “I’m not grouchy, I’m just…”

  “Sleep-deprived, I’m a mom, I get it.” She scoops Louis up out of his highchair.

  “Jane and I are definitely not going to be having babies anytime soon. I don’t even think she likes me. I mean we’ve had one disastrous first date, that’s all.” I can’t help it; my pride is still stinging from her talking about my leg like that.

  “What happened?”

  “You mean she didn’t tell you everything during your cosy chat yesterday?”

  “Sheesh,” Maggie puts her head in her hands after I’ve finished telling her about my epic non-starter of a date with Jane. “I know I’ve been out of the dating game for a while but that’s awful, did you really think telling a beautiful woman her leg looks like a half-eaten turkey leg was going to work out well for you?”

  “Hey!” I don’t like how she’s looking at me. “She said I only had one leg, remember.”

  Maggie shrugs, “so what? You do. Jane was just being honest whereas you were a jerk.”

  “So what you’re basically saying is that I was probably a jerk to Jane and should apologise.”

  “Nope,” Maggie shakes her head, “I’m saying you were definitely a jerk to Jane and you should grovel not apologise.”

  LOLA

  I don’t like it but I’m already missing Zev. The schmuck has slowly wormed his way into my life without me noticing and it’s only the fact that I haven’t seen him for two days that’s made me realise it.

  As if I conjure him up by magic, Zev appears on the steps leading up to the house. “Hey,” he smiles as if our argument two days ago never happened. “I heard you were looking for me. Want some company?”

  I look up at him and I know I started the argument but it still hurts that he said my leg looked like a half-eaten turkey leg. “From you, no.”

  He smirks and sits down in the chair next to me anyway. I quickly tilt my laptop away from him. Of course he notices. “It’s rather brazen of you to be watching porn out here, hot stuff.”

  “Shut up,” I blush so much, I can feel it spreading like an ink blot all the way up to my hairline and out to my earlobes. “I’m not watching porn.”

  “Then why are you trying to hide what you
’re looking at?”

  “There’s a thing called personal space, you know?”

  “True but I did save you from drowning so I don’t think that applies to us.”

  “It was like two millimetres of water,” I scoff, “a freaking hamster wouldn’t have drowned in that.”

  “Are you going to tell me what you were looking at just now or am I going to have to tickle it out of you?”

  “I’m not ticklish,” I insist, hoping against hope that I’m a really good liar because I’m like the most ticklish person ever.

  Zev flexes his fingers, “yeah, right.”

  “I’m serious, Zev.”

  “Come on,” he says softly, all teasing gone from his voice.

  “Why do you even care so much?” I ask. “Am I like a project to you or something?” I voice my deepest fear. “Like make the sad cripple feel normal for once?”

  I blink really fast to keep myself from crying. I’ve cried enough over Tony. “Hey,” I feel his finger lightly touch my jaw and it tingles. He forces me to look at him. “Stop that, OK,” his eyes are the same blue-green as the Pacific Ocean. “You’re not a cripple.”

  It’s too intense to have him look at me like that. I need to do something so I lift my foot. Tony is highly skilled at evaporating any quasi-romantic tension. “I’m not normal though, either.”

  “Who wants to be normal?” Zev laughs, showing off his prosthetic.

  “Fine,” I hand over the laptop so he can see what I was looking at.

  “You’re looking for a job?”

  “I don’t want to be a bum anymore, just hanging around here not really doing anything.” I don’t admit that I’m also hoping that it will stop me thinking about him all the time too.

  “We need a receptionist over at the Ink. I could have a chat with the owner for you?”

  “The Ink?”

  “It’s a tattoo shop, hot stuff. I promise we only sacrifice virgins on the weekend.” Gah, I really hate how easily I blush around Zev.

  “I’m not sure I’d be a good fit at a tattoo shop.” Despite the fact that both my parents have got tattoos, I’m definitely not cool enough to work somewhere like that.

  “Can you answer phones, make appointments and keep our stock organised?”

  “Well, yeah.” After the accident but before I’d moved to Hawaii, I’d worked in my dad’s offices doing the same thing.

  “It’s settled then, I’ll ask Rusty to give you a call.”

  LOLA

  I know that it’s an extraordinarily dumb idea as soon as I get out of Mats’ car. It doesn’t help that I’m sweating buckets in the thick, black tights I’m wearing to cover up my deformed leg and I didn’t have time to order any workplace-appropriate claw encasements so I had to buy a pair of cheap black Mary Janes from the supermarket and stuff the toes on one side with newspaper. I’ve barely taken five steps across the parking lot and they are already hurting like a beeyotch.

  I finally pluck up the courage and push open the front door and the candy-floss pink-haired hipster girl at the counter immediately busts out laughing. I’m not talking a cute, little giggle either, this is full-on guffawing with tears streaming down her cheeks and her body shaking as if she’s been electrocuted.

  “What the heck are you wearing?” she asks when she can finally speak again.

  I give her the once-over: she’s wearing a black tank top and faded denim dungaree shorts. I’m way, way, way overdressed but how was I supposed to know what a receptionist at a tattoo shop dresses like? I’d never even been in one until five minutes ago.

  “Ignore Emmy, I think she was dropped on her head as a baby and any hint of manners fell out of her mouth.” I recognise the older man with a belly-grazing grey beard who’s just stepped out of one of the rooms as Rusty, the owner of the Ink.

  He leads me through to one of the rooms at the back. I hand over my paperwork and Rusty frowns as he looks at my I.D. “I could have sworn Zev said your name was Jane?”

  “It is,” I quickly explain. “My birth name’s Lola but I’ve gone by my middle name, Jane ever since I moved here to Hawaii.”

  “You’re not in any trouble, are you?” He looks concerned.

  I shake my head, “I’m not on the run from the police or any bad guys, I promise. You can even call my parents if you’d like.” Although how they’d react if they were called for a reference from a tattoo parlour, I don’t know. I guess I’d just have to remind them that they can’t be annoyed with me for working here since they’ve both got tattoos. “I’m just trying to… figure things out.”

  That seems to satisfy Rusty because he slides my I.D. back across to me. “Good luck, Jane. With my daughter, Emmy out there, I think you’re going to need it.”

  I gulp but he puts a hand on my shoulder, “something tells me you’re a lot stronger than you think.”

  ZEV

  It’s Jane first day at the Ink and even though I’m not due in until lunchtime, I’m crazy tempted to get there early so I can help her get settled. I know Rusty and Shanks will take good care of her, it’s the fire-breathing dragon with the daft pink hair that I’m most concerned about.

  True to form, I’ve barely made it out of my car before I’m accosted by Emmy. She gives me a shove but like I’ve said before, she’s got tiny ineffectual fists so I barely feel it. “You need to have a word with your girlfriend, Little Miss Prissy Knickers.”

  “What happened?”

  “Dad asked her to clear up the storage room and when I went down there just now, she was sat in the middle of the floor painting her nails.”

  That doesn’t sound like Jane at all. “You’re sure she was definitely painting her nails?”

  Emmy gives me a look that says she’s this close to punching me again. “I know what I saw, she had her back to me but she had her knees pulled up to her chest and I could smell something funky – she was definitely painting her toenails.”

  I laugh which just makes Emmy’s nostrils flare even more. “I’m serious, Zev. I know you’ve got the hots for her but she can’t be here if she’s not going to work.”

  I’m desperate to tell Emmy the truth about Jane’s “toes” just to watch her squirm but it isn’t my secret to tell, it’s Jane’s.

  “Is she still back there?”

  “Yeah.”

  I spot one of Emmy’s regulars walking towards the front of the shop. “Why don’t you see what Axe wants and I’ll talk to Jane.”

  When I walk downstairs into the storage area, Jane immediately tries to get up but her tights are only half on and so she lurches forward. I reach out and wrap my arms around her waist, steadying her.

  “How are you settling in, hot stuff?” I let my lips brush close to the soft hairs at the nape of her neck.

  “I’m good.” She wriggles out of my arms and quickly straightens out her tights. “Do you need me for something? I’m almost done here.”

  I look around at the storage area and darn, I didn’t realise the floor was supposed to be that colour, I’ve literally never seen it so clean and tidy.

  I’m about to praise Jane for her hard work when I notice her wince as she forces her foot back into her shoe.

  She bends down to scoop up a tube of lotion and I recognise the label. “Is your foot giving you trouble?”

  “It’s nothing I can’t handle,” she says stoically.

  “Sit down,” I order.

  “I need to get back out there, Emmy…”

  “Rusty isn’t here so technically I’m the boss and I said sit down, hot stuff.”

  She sits down on the chair and I carefully remove her shoe. A wad of newspaper is stuck to the top of her foot. “What’s this?”

  “I don’t have any work shoes and I haven’t had time to order any so…”

  “Your foot’s hurting.” I gently massage her foot over the top of her tights. “Don’t get me wrong, I really appreciate this whole naughty secretary thing you’ve got going on here.” I gesture to the prim white
blouse and black skirt combo she’s wearing. “But we don’t really have a dress code here at the Ink, you should wear whatever makes you comfortable.”

  “I’d better order some more leggings then,” Jane smiles. It might be corny but her smile lights up the whole dimly-lit storage area.

  “You don’t have to cover yourself up.”

  Jane looks confused, “this is a place of business, nobody wants to be up close and personal with the claw.”

  “You do realise where you work?” I ask. “Emmy’s up there right now with a guy who’s so obsessed with tigers, he’s having his entire back covered with stripes.”

  “Really?” Jane asks and her dark eyes light up with curiosity. “That’s so cool. Do you think he’d let me see it when it’s done?”

  LOLA

  Mats has a study group at the library so Zev walks me home from my first day at the Ink.

  He walks me up the steps to the front porch and waits while I unlock the door. “You could come in?” I suggest.

  He reluctantly shakes his head, “I’d better not.” I must look disappointed because he says, “I want to do this properly, Jane.”

  I watch as he turns and walks away. He’s a couple of steps down so he’s a similar height to me when he stops. “Jane?” The way he says it, for a second I almost wish I could hear him say my real name because it makes me feel all warm and tingly inside.

  “Yeah?”

  I’ve kicked off my hateful shoes and have to hold on to the railing for balance.

  “You know before, when you asked why I care so much?” I swallow the huge lump at the back of my throat. I’d really hoped that he’d forgotten that moment of weakness.

  He leans forward and touches my jaw; it makes me shiver. He slides his hand into my hair and my whole body breaks out in goose bumps. I’ve been touched before but not like this. Maybe I’m reacting so intensely because it’s been so long. I feel his lip ring rub against my bottom lip and then suddenly he’s kissing me. If he was trying to take things too fast, I would push him away but it’s one of the gentlest, sweetest kisses I’ve ever had. It feels like warm, syrupy honey is trickling through my veins. I want to cry with how good it feels to be just a girl being kissed by a boy again.